Oy! (Robbie) Williams, No!

In the morning when I wake up
I look like Casper without the make up
And that’s a good line take it to
The bridge”

Robbie Williams. What’s not to like?

In the morning when I wake up
I look like Kiss without the make up
And that’s a good line take it to
The bridge” (Strong: Williams/Chambers, 1999) 

No, that is not a good line, Robbie – do not take that to the bridge!

Here is a picture of Kiss without the make-up:

Kiss without the make-up. Not bad for the seventies.

I used to think the line was I look like Casper without the make up.

Now that is a good line; I mean, a ghost without the make up. If you woke up looking like a ghost without the make up that would be something and it would scare the shit out of your partner…

If you woke up next to that it would scare the shit out of you!

By the way, an interesting fact: If Robbie was in the Royal Navy he would be known as “Bungy”. Just thought I would share that with you.

 

 

 

 

About Us

This is a personal blog site on Football with a Tottenham Hotspur and occasionally Swindon bias with some celebrity topical tales thrown in.  You are free to add your own comments and feedback.  It’s all about opinions.  Where we have used pics from other sources these will always be linked through to the source in order to duly promote those sources.  If you would like us to remove any links please let us know and we will be happy to comply.

I would like to say a few words on behalf of English football...

Respect? You Don’t Know Jack!

Wilshere – England expects :- You to grow up

In recent seasons Arsenal and England player Jack Wilshere has enjoyed a bit of banter with fans of Tottenham Hotspur. In 2012 he offered to donate £3000 to charity if Arsenal finished above Tottenham, as long as it was matched by Tottenham fans, an offer which received a warm reception from his team’s arch rivals. However, in 2011 Wilshere received a police warning for attempting to spit on a taxi driver who was wearing a Spurs hat, so he is clearly seeking the measure for acceptable “banter”. His latest offence, of obscene chanting about Spurs during Arsenal’s FA Cup victory celebrations, has been greeted with mixed views from the media and fans alike. On various internet blogs, Arsenal fans were obviously delighted, while fans of other sports commented that it was uncouth behaviour typical of the sport. Sky Sports immediately apologised for screening the incident, but the Football Association and Arsenal Football Club have yet to comment.

Wrighty

Wrighty – a fans player

Of course players’ empathy with football fans is a standard marketing technique. There is a TV advert doing the rounds in which the former Arsenal player Ian Wright stands shoulder to shoulder with England fans in a bar watching the World Cup. The twist is that “Wrighty” manages to influence the game via a direct audio link to the referee. It is a clever concept which exploits Wright’s status as a player and a fan and physically links the two. Wright’s popularity as a fans player rests on his passion for the game. When, as a pundit, he famously ran down the side of the pitch at Old Trafford celebrating Beckham’s goal against Greece in the European Championships, we, as fans, felt a sense of unity with one of our own. But you are unlikely to see a Carlsberg advert where Ian Wright dresses as a Knight crusader or sings “There were ten German bombers in the air and the RAF from England shot them down.” That wouldn’t work because it crosses a line from supporter to FANatic. As England fans, we don’t like Germany and we don’t respect them either, that’s why we can sing antagonistic songs about them. This lack of respect forms a dividing line between what is publically acceptable and unacceptable. Alan Shearer was once asked if he would shake the German player’s hands and wish them luck before a game, his answer was “I will shake their hand, but I won’t wish them luck.” On the other hand, Paul Gascoigne was asked before a game if he had a message for the people of Norway, he replied “Yes, f* off Norway”. Shearer’s patriotism was noted, while Gascoigne was fined £39000 by the FA for bringing the game into disrepute.

I would like to say a few words on behalf of English football...

I would like to say a few words on behalf of English football…

So where does Jack Wilshere’s behaviour fit into this and should the FA and his club take action against him? According to the English FA’s Respect campaign, “Respect is the collective responsibility of everyone involved in football…” On Sunday the 18th May, 2014, during a globally covered public event, Jack Wilshere, with no provocation, repeatedly shouted that Tottenham Hotspur were sh*t and encouraged hundreds of thousands of people to do the same. That event was watched by tens of millions of people across the globe. If the message the FA want the world to hear is that this sort of behaviour by football players is acceptable then where are we to draw the line? How about Arsene Wenger singing for his “daddy’s gun to shoot the Tottenham scum” or Sergio Aguero singing “Who’s that lying on the runway”? I suggest Wilshere, as an Arsenal and England player, has dragged the English game back into the gutter. If neither the FA or Arsenal are prepared to take action then it’s open season for players in England to act like hooligans and goodbye Respect.

Barry Sheene Suzuki

Gods of the Old Millennium – A work in progress

“Icons” are two-a-penny these days.  The power of the media age, with its 500+ TV channels, constant streaming of footy, professionalism (make that commercialism) of Rugby Union and sensationalist marketing campaigns is such that every wannabee 5 minute wonder, Johhny Come-Lately and Carlos-Kick-a-Ball goes down as an Icon of this or a hero of that.  Well, that’s all bollocks designed to make a fast buck for the next Simon Cowell.  Here are the people we all wanted to be; The Icons of the twentieth century:

Barry Sheene

Barry Sheene. God. And that is not overstating it my friends.  I really shouldn't have to explain this, but if you 're Insurance Broker is not man enough to let you do Sporting Superstars then you are not an Icon.

Barry Sheene. God. And that is not overstating it my friends. I really shouldn’t have to explain this, but if your Insurance Broker is not man enough to let you do Sporting Superstars then you are not an Icon. Then: Barry Sheene. Now: Carl Fogarty

“When the race finishes, instead of going out and chasing girls like they did in my day, now they go and say ‘thanks’ to Vodaphone” (Stirling Moss)

Feel free to add your own suggestion for Twentieth Century Icons…

 Muhammad Ali – The Greatest

I done wrestled with an alligator, I done tussled with a whale; handcuffed lightning, thrown thunder in jail; only last week, I murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalized a brick; I'm so mean I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

I’m the king of the world, I am the greatest, I’m Muhammed Ali, I shook up the world, I am the greatest, I’m king of the world, I’m pretty, I’m pretty, I’m a baaaad man, you heard me I’m a baaad man, Archie Moore fell in four, Liston wanted me more, so since he’s so great, I’m a make him fall in eight, I’m a baa-aad man, I’m king of the world! I’m 22 years old and ain’t gotta mark on my face, I’m pretty, I easily survived six rounds with that ugly bear, because I AM THE GREATEST!!

“I done wrestled with an alligator, I done tussled with a whale; handcuffed lightning, thrown thunder in jail; only last week, I murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalized a brick; I’m so mean I make medicine sick” (Muhammad Ali)

Diego Maradona

 

There has been no better player

There has been no better player

“There would be no debate about who was the best footballer the world had ever seen – me or Pele? Everyone would say me.” Diego Maradona

Elvis

Thank ya very much!

Thank ya very much!

A hunk-a-hunk of burning Love (and that’s not being gay, that’s just tellin’ it like it is, folks!)

“His kind of music is deplorable, a rancid smelling aphrodisiac…It fosters almost totally negative and destructive reactions in young people.” (Frank Sinatra)

Dean Martin

Deano. Too Cool for School

Deano. Too Cool for School

“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” (Deano)

 

It did happen!

Who’d be a Spurs fan?

LeKraka Dawn, Dawn Roamin, Jess Dawn-Donna; As a yiddo, I have had more false Dawns than a  transvestite’s singles night.  But next season, my friends…, next season is the one.

Louis Van Gaal and Rapin Van Persie will choose us over Man United and my 50 year wait will be over.  Then I will be able to commit hari-kari in the Park Lane End with renewed optimism.  COYS! Why do we do it?

 

Posh. Gorgeous, right?

Ugly-Girl Power

The picture above is of the so-called “beautiful” Posh Spice in 1997.  Her 40th birthday this week served to remind me how stupifyingly gullible people are.

I remember when The Spice Girls first hit the scene. They were awful; couldn’t sing, couldn’t dance but most of all they were Ug-er-ly. The four of them reminded me of those old dogs that you’d see at clubs, pissed as rats, dripping in trowled on make-up, stinking of stale “Charlie” or “Tramp” or some other acrid repellent that they had found in the bins round the back of SuperDrug.  How anyone could consider any of them a prospect in a public facing industry was, frankly, ludicrous.  And credit therefore has to  go to Simon Fuller, their agent, who really did make a silk purse out of a sows ear.  But of all of them , the ironically named “Posh” spice (I guess she was the one who had more than one pair of knickers for the week),  was the worst: Scouse Spice could sing; Scary had something akin to a personality and Baby Spice was blonde, allegedley, (which in Fuller’s mind must have counted for something);  Old Spice had the oppressed ginger-minger minority support; But Posh?  Here was just nothing but a strange alien-like, greasy, undernourished face, lank hair and no voice at all;  she wasn’t just ugly, like the rest of them, but she was devoid of any talent whatsoever.

The Crown Jewels of Australia and the World
If you don’t fancy Kylie, you’re bent.

When Victoria decided to go it alone (something she must have done on countless Saturday nights beforehand), Fuller pitched her single ‘Not Such an Innocent Girl‘ (admit it, you’d forgotten what that was called hadn’t you?) against Kylie Minogue’s ‘Can’t get you out of my Head‘ in the British singles charts for the number 1 spot.  Fuller is an ambitious and, for the most part, successful man, but even he couldn’t get the British public to buy that one.  I mean, a beauty contest between Dobby from Hogwarts and Linda Evangelista would have had a less likely outcome. 

Dobby or Linda? Linda or Dobby?  It's a tough one, isn't it?

Dobby or Linda? Linda or Dobby? It’s a tough one, isn’t it?

Linda E – Robo-Babe: If she was president, she’d be Babraham Lincoln.

 

 

 

 

 

 

David Beckham. To be fair, he looks a bit of a knob-head there, but he is a talented footballer.

David Beckham. To be fair, he looks a bit of a knob-head here, but he is a talented footballer.

Who can blame Beckham for playing away from that? It must have been in his contract when he married her.  Rebecca Looes was no oil painting but she wasn’t a three-bagger like his Mrs.  Surely not even David “My parents have been there for me since I was seven” Beckham is that stupid.

 

So I guess the question is “Why?” Why were they successful? I can only imagine that Fuller conceived a plan to exploit the potential of ugly girls.  In his marketing plan it must surely have said “This is the time for Ugly Girl Power.  All those wretched, skanky, forgotten old grots, that can’t even get a knee-trembler around the back of C&A before being ditched at the Taxi Rank, will support them in their millions.” “Okay Simon, it sounds like a go-er (and looks like four) but you’ll have to drop the word Ugly, it won’t float with that word in there.”  And the rest is history.  Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you:- Ugly-Girl Power.

Phwoar!! I mean you would wouldn't you? Rather pick your own eyes out with a tea-spoon, that is.

Phwoar!! I mean you would wouldn’t you? Rather gouge your own eyes out with a tea-spoon, that is.

 

It's all Good